How can one person see only the good in an individual, and then someone else can look at that same individual and see only the bad? I would argue that the person seeing the good is looking for everything good in their life, while the person who sees the bad is looking for everything that can harm them in their life. A person finds what they’re looking for. All the subtle aspects of a person are amplified when they are being looked for.

I believe this applies to all facets of life, from family, to work, to society. For example, in a good marriage gone bad, I believe that the couples will slowly transition from seeing all the good in their spouse, to only seeing the aspects that bother them. They will no longer see the attempts to appease the other, or if they do, they no longer put stock in those actions. Impromptu flowers from a husband make one wife suspicious of some wrong-doing, while another wife sees them as a thoughtful gesture.

So am I saying that all a person has to do is look for happiness in their life and they will find it? I would say “yes”! However, it may not be that simple. There is usually a deep-rooted reasoning behind what an individual looks for. If a person has been hurt or abused in the past, they will be looking for indicators of the hurt in their life, so they know what to avoid. However by doing so, they will miss all of the happiness in their life.